Understanding and Overcoming the Trauma Bond in a Narcissistic Relationship
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“If your relationship is so bad, why don’t you just leave them?”

“If you were in such an abusive relationship, why did you stay with them for so long?”

“If you knew you were in a relationship with such a toxic person, why didn’t you ask people for help?”

If you’ve ever been asked these questions, aside from being ignorant and hurtful, you’ll know it’s beyond frustrating. The answer to the above questions, whilst it’s complex and often confusing, can be given with two words: trauma bonded. If you find you’re in a relationship that you know is so toxic that it’s crushing your very being, but you can’t bring yourself to leave, you may be in the clutches of a tight trauma bond.

If you’re constantly feeling on edge, forever working to appease your spouse to little avail and feel like you’re constantly being chipped away at with their abusive behavior, then I can understand how emotionally shattering it feels to live this way.

If, in the same breath, it breaks your heart to even consider leaving them because you can’t imagine life without them, then I can understand that feeling too – because I was trauma bonded to my abusive ex.

From my own personal experience and from the experiences other survivors have opened up to me about, this book will cover the following:

  • What trauma bonding really is
  • The seven stages that lead to you becoming trauma bonded
  • The parallels that Stockholm syndrome has with trauma bonding
  • The five stages you go through when you come to accept you’re trauma bonded – the cognitive dissonance a trauma bond can cause
  • Breaking free from the traumatic bond

This book will also include my own experiences and I’ll draw upon those to help you really understand trauma bonding, and let you know that you’re not alone in being shackled by this emotionally crippling bond. More importantly, this book will help you understand that the invisible chain that tethers you to your abuser can be broken.

21 reviews for Understanding and Overcoming the Trauma Bond in a Narcissistic Relationship

  1. ToshaBow
    October 13, 2023
    Easy Read
    Informative, direct, educational.
    Helpful? 0 0
    david
    February 15, 2023
    5.0 out of 5 stars Very good and written from empirical experience
    Relatively short but informative book on the subject. Very good advice and points of truth. Ideal because it is not overly long and makes points clea...More
    Relatively short but informative book on the subject. Very good advice and points of truth. Ideal because it is not overly long and makes points clear for those with little time to read or who aren’t normally readers of long books.
    Helpful? 0 0
    Kindle Customer
    February 2, 2023
    Beata
    Nice, friendly and clearly way of writing.I had passed the experience too, but still got hiccups from the experience.. less and less.. anyway it's goo...More
    Nice, friendly and clearly way of writing.
    I had passed the experience too, but still got hiccups from the experience.. less and less.. anyway it's good to read information about difficult life and understand more and more. Gives relief every time I'm searching some info about that topics.. just recovering..that take long time.
    Helpful? 0 0
    L Webb
    March 2, 2022
    4.0 out of 5 stars Not quite what I expected
    I thought this would be a bigger book but its about 65 pages, wording is big to take up more room on pages. Its a pretty good read and sheds some ligh...More
    I thought this would be a bigger book but its about 65 pages, wording is big to take up more room on pages. Its a pretty good read and sheds some light on stockholm syndrome and trauma bonding
    Helpful? 0 0
    LumaraRose H.
    January 11, 2022
    5.0 out of 5 stars Great book really and eye opener for how you trauma bond
    Definitely recommend
    Helpful? 0 0
    bd
    September 2, 2021
    5.0 out of 5 stars Everyone should read this book
    I read this book in one afternoon. It’s very eye opening, and I shared it with several other women I know. They all find it extremely insightful and h...More
    I read this book in one afternoon. It’s very eye opening, and I shared it with several other women I know. They all find it extremely insightful and helpful on the journey that is life!
    Helpful? 0 0
    Yvette Farias
    August 6, 2021
    5.0 out of 5 stars Good
    I was hoping for stories from others to help understand that not all relationships with a Narcissist are the same, but it was good to read. I believe ...More
    I was hoping for stories from others to help understand that not all relationships with a Narcissist are the same, but it was good to read. I believe the last chapter was more informative for me .
    Helpful? 0 0
    T11892
    July 22, 2021
    5.0 out of 5 stars Short but helpful
    Bought for my roommate and some of it was towards physical but she just used it towards emotional. She really liked it and it helped her.
    Helpful? 0 0
    barbie miller
    July 12, 2021
    5.0 out of 5 stars Very informational
    This book really helped me understand and get pass alot
    Helpful? 0 0
    Lori Herr
    June 27, 2021
    5.0 out of 5 stars Worth the read.
    Good read and just the way I like, short. Nice on the pocket too.
    Helpful? 0 0
    Stacey Peters
    April 6, 2021
    5.0 out of 5 stars Loved it
    Great book for anyone who has spent years with a narcissist or any toxic person.
    Helpful? 0 0
    bridgett
    March 7, 2021
    5.0 out of 5 stars Amazing
    I loved every minute of this book! Helped me so much
    Helpful? 0 0
    Christina
    March 1, 2021
    5.0 out of 5 stars Helped my daughter
    My daughter has gotten comfort from reading this book. It is small and short but it has helped her navigate her emotions dealing with a difficult rela...More
    My daughter has gotten comfort from reading this book. It is small and short but it has helped her navigate her emotions dealing with a difficult relationship.
    Helpful? 0 0
    crystal girl
    February 22, 2021
    4.0 out of 5 stars Good insights
    This book was excellent but I wished it was longer. Very short but had valuable information. Would have liked more examples illustrating concept.
    Helpful? 0 0
    Angela Gray
    January 31, 2021
    5.0 out of 5 stars Awesome!
    Amazing read!
    Helpful? 0 0
    Rayne
    December 15, 2020
    5.0 out of 5 stars Helpful
    This book is amazing!
    Helpful? 0 0
    chris kase
    December 8, 2020
    5.0 out of 5 stars Very Helpful
    This book has helped tremendously to validate what occurred, how I responded and that I can take responsibility for staying as long as I did, but with...More
    This book has helped tremendously to validate what occurred, how I responded and that I can take responsibility for staying as long as I did, but with explanation as to why. Easy to read.
    Helpful? 0 0
    Kelly
    December 1, 2020
    5.0 out of 5 stars Empowering read.
    Very helpful easy read. Life changing tools.
    Helpful? 0 0
    PATRICIA
    October 1, 2020
    5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent quick read, packed with a real plan
    This book is priceless for the thousands of people "stuck" in a narcisistic nightmare trauma bond. She lays out the steps in concise, easily comprehe...More
    This book is priceless for the thousands of people "stuck" in a narcisistic nightmare trauma bond. She lays out the steps in concise, easily comprehensible language, that are necessary to break free.
    Helpful? 0 0
    An Honest Reviewer
    May 22, 2020
    Absolute SPOT On
    This book is written with such relevance and clarity I would give it 100 stars, if I could. After already reading several related books I found myse...More
    This book is written with such relevance and clarity I would give it 100 stars, if I could. After already reading several related books I found myself unable to leave with I had come to understand, in my gut, was an abusive relationship. I'm free now. And I expect to remain free forever, SPECIAL thanks to this book and it's COMPASSIONATE author. If you suspect you may be in an abusive "relationship system" but you aren't quite certain you have the right to "walk away", you owe it to yourself to check this book out. As previously stated, 100 stars OUT OF 5!!!
    Helpful? 0 0
    Kimberlie M Joy
    April 2, 2020
    Very good, well explained and understandable
    Brilliant book for getting you to recognise and understand where you are within the toxic relationship, why it's toxic, how it became that way, how it...More
    Brilliant book for getting you to recognise and understand where you are within the toxic relationship, why it's toxic, how it became that way, how its not your fault, how to deal with each 'step' of narcissism and how to help yourself leave, stay out of the relationship and how to recognise and deal with the emotions along every step, and after. A short book but with enough to help you. Lots of examples from the author who escaped a narcissistic partner. Well written. I shall be buying her other books on this subject. It is to help my daughter who is trapped by trauma bonding but also to help others who want to understand why it happens.
    Helpful? 0 0
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